this is a place for me to keep a spiritual journal about my life and God,my thoughts about what i read and stody in my bible.
i hope those who read here find a blessing from what they see.
Yes you read the title right. I have sinned, and repented of it and in my guilt over it will repent a few more times lol. Though I know God not only forgives He forgets our sins from as far as east is from west and to the very depths of the oceans. But before you today I will tell you of my sins.
who among you knows me well? well for those who don't I will explain a few thing about my self. Mind you I do not brag for it is the Holy Spirit with in me that has aloud me to be as such. I am not a hater, I have never hated anyone in all my life. Even those who have hurt me deeply I have not hated. I am grudgeless, I don't hold grudges. I'm quick to forgive. Slow to angry and speedy to calm down. I do my best not to judge others. I tend to be endlessly patient. But in the last week I have allowed a seed to take root and grow that has had me do everything contrary to my nature and sin against God. As any sin is against God. So what are my great sins of late?
1. I have let hate fester in me for one person, and as that hate had taken a foot hold in my heart unchecked it has spilled over to others that I had set those feelings aside and away from me. To now bare them.
2. I have judged whether it be fairly or unfairly I have judged with a standard that I my self could not fulfill in perfection, and there fore had no place judging another in that way.
3. I have gossiped and torn down another to others
4. I have lost my patients and thought harm of this person if not sought to harm them.
now for the verse that condemns me Romans 1:32 "and although THEY KNOW the ordinances of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them." Romans 2:1 "therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who pass judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn your self; for you who judge practice the same things."
it takes so little to bring our walk with God crumbling down. If we do not guard our hearts and minds putting on the full armor of God. We sercome to the very things we condemn and judge harshly in others. This person caused people I care about pain and harm. As I watched, unable to do very much to change what was happening the seed was planted of resentment, hate etc... I did not guard my heart. Till one day when speaking to a friend about this person I used the word hate. It was as though someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over me. But I don't hate, I told my self. I have never hated. But it was there. Glaringly true for me to see, I had typed I hated her. I realized if this was so, what other things had I willingly ignored in my self of late. As from the tip of an icebergs I found much more I needed to speak to God about and change in my self with His help. Praise the Lord that He has seen fit to remove this person from my small world here. That friends can heal and I can find forgiveness without watching it all continue.
sin is something that infects. Like a virus when we let it go unchecked it can spread to every aspect of our lives and extend it self to those around us as well. The old testament teaches this over and over again. These verses do not speak to the non-believer, but speak to those who know God's word. Who have no excuse for willfully or wanton sin. It speaks to those who can not claim ignorance. It speaks to me. So the time has come for me to get on my knees and repent with all my heart. Might it be that time for you?
love and hugs breeze
Breeze heard the earth sing at Wednesday, October 19, 2005
2 Comments:
At 11:06 AM,
Jilly replied ...
Oh, Breeze, it's PAST time for me to repent. But I ask this, in my case, how can I ask for forgiveness of something I know I'll turn right around and do again?
At the moment I feel that I can only ask for forgiveness of my WILL to sin. Anyway...
At 12:03 AM,
Breeze replied ...
jilly there are somethings we will always do, no matter how hard we try, as pauls says, do w just not try? may it never be(i know far from exact words, but it appies) we ask forgiveness for our sin regaurdless if we will make the miskae again, cause the important thing is the trying. if i have learned anything about you... it's that you try very hard.
love ya breeze
Home
Jilly replied ...